The Cling Thing

Perhaps it’s the view from the wrong side of mentionable-age that scandalizes me so. But what I’d really like to know is who created lycra – man or woman? It could be either since it affords such great estimation of women’s anatomy to men and is so liberating for women, revealing and yet not quite so. cooperative.

Wiki enlightens: Modern hosiery is usually tight-fitting by virtue of stretchy fabrics and meshes... Due to its close fit, most hosiery can be worn as an undergarment….

The key words here are tight fitting and undergarment. Yes, tight fitting undergarments are most nice and comfy. Never one to appreciate nylon (read synthetic) I still welcomed tracks and leggings which are great exercise-wear and about-the-house-wear and house-on-fire-rushing-out wear.

In local parlance, hosiery was/is best understood as baniyaan ka kapda – the cloth of vests. Comfy lycra inner wear! Libration clothing. But inner. So how did it come out of the closet? To be flaunted without the outer? First it was only t-shirts. Nice, comfy. Then it tightened its grip. Tight fit was called 'Smart fit'. Then they got the brainwave to create ALL women’s clothing in this. Tops were okay. Leggings too were because they still stayed inside homes and in parks. But now they have created the baniyaan churidar! So comfy and thin you’d think you weren’t wearing anything (and that’s exactly how you appear, btw). Fittingly it walked into offices, lunches, launches, and very quickly kneed out all decent forms of leg coverings.

These clingy churidars leave nothing to imagination what with the kurta slits forever riding up. Do the wearers have any clue how clearly visible each sinew of their bady and detail of the inner wear is – every flower, each stitch, each lace trim? I guess it saves a lot of trouble – no iron, no nada and is a boon to those who have to step out of homes properly covered so no bro/nani/dada/hubby/mother-in-law or neighbor can raise an eye or finger and then rush to the washroom of the nearest Mall to emerge in cooler/hotter/lesser clothes. Now they can go out bindaas in traditional, body-covering attire and still feel confident that they will get the all-heads-turned response only a leg-show did.

Like it’s said that you ain’t revealing till you reveal skin. But my demure lovelies, be assured men are looking and seeing. How can they not. My male friend referred to my lovely Lucknowi, hand embroidered top, as 'that transparent top'. Gossamer, I said. Men don’t understand gossamer and such, it’s plain and simple transparent!! So if you’re out in those lycra churidars (especially if there is mild breeze) please be informed that you are just wearing a dress with slits to your waist.

The whole point of this natter being, pointing out to those that do not know that they are revealing that they are; and those that know that they are but think that we think they are not, that we know that they are. I am a prude but not enough to grudge anyone revealing clothes. Reveal by all means. Oh please go ahead with the spaghettis, off shoulders, minis and shorts but leotards under kurtas? Have mercy!